Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
