Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
