I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
