i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
