nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
