Where is the hickey?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
