I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Blood and glitter go together right?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
