We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wanna passion pit in your ass
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
