she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
