um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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