she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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