Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
