my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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