I wannas sexs uuuuu
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize