Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
