3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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