i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
