idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just want to make out with him forever
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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