i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
