I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize