my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
