I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
