how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
