the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
