I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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