His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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