38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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