Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
