so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
