i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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