It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
