You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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