lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize