i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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