...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
