Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize