I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
