there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
