Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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