I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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