Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
