Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
