Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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