do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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