Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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