You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
