Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
