the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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