When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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