How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
