hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
