You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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