Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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