Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
