its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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