Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
