Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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