Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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