scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
