the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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