its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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